Before We Go Back to the Basics

It has been a little too long since I have blogged. But it was a crazy summer full of work, vacations, job searching, self-esteem highs and lows, studying, and training. I passed my certification exam in June and am officially and Certified Personal Trainer working at Charter Fitness with about 15-20 clients so far. I love it! I love training people and helping them achieve their goals, helping them workout and create plans, and making a difference in the lives of others. Its not easy though, I am constantly having to research different workouts, nutritional information, marketing techniques, etc. I also struggle working in a gym as someone who has been recovering from an eating disorder and has a terribly low self-esteem. I find myself constantly fighting an inner battle as hundreds of women walk by me every week. I compare myself to each and every one, finding it hard not to hate myself when I am around certain women that I feel have the bodies that I wish I had. If I don't catch myself in time, it turns into a vicious cycle of self-loathing, mentally beating myself up for the days of missed workouts, the junk food, the abundance of food, the lack of self-control and self-motivation, letting my exhaustion be an excuse, etc.

It isn't all bad, it has made me come out of my shell and work to be confident in what I do and how present myself at work. Regardless of the imperfections I see in myself, I find myself feeling stronger and better the more I do, the more I try new things and different workouts, and the more I learn to sit back and try to accept myself for who I am and how I was created. It's all a work in progress, just like me.

This semester I am taking the Principles of Nutrition. I am incredibly interested in the material we are studying in this class, not just because it is applicable to my life and habits, but because it is applicable to the lives and habits of my clients. Although I am far from being a health nut (in general I believe in moderation, 80% healthy, 20% enjoyable), I am really interested in clean eating. So much of the food we eat in our society is processed and lacking the nutritional values we need, it causes us not only to be missing vital nutrients, but causes us to become addicted to these types of food, making us want to buy and consume them over and over again. It is a mean cycle created by companies to essentially make money off of our ignorance. Clean eating takes us back to the basic foods that give our bodies the essential nutrients they need. This means eating lots of whole foods (not necessarily raw); natural fruits, vegetables, legumes, tree nuts, lean proteins, and whole grains (unprocessed, like brown rice, oats, quinoa).

Now I am not even close to "clean up" my eating habits. In fact, I may have just had a huge bowl of rainbow sherbet. But I am getting better. I am trying to focus on eating mostly chicken, fish, and turkey (because those are the meats I prefer), lots of veggies and fruit, beans and almonds, and brown rice. I am struggling though to eliminate cereal, pizza, and ice cream (or sherbet). The ice cream I can eliminate as long as I get frozen yogurt on occasion. But cereal is easy to make and one of my favorites, as it pizza (its easy to order). I am recognizing the addictions my body has too these foods, specifically to sugar. Last week I had a burst of self-control (must of the been from my lack of exercise, I hate pre-race week) and gave up sugar for most of the week. Although I did eat some Special K pastries that taste like Pop-Tarts. . .definitely way up processed food alley! Once I had decided to stop eating sugar for so many days, I didn't really crave it like I usually do. I also didn't get the crashes that I often get and actually had more energy than when I am eating foods full of sugar.

I am currently working on a post that talks about Back to the Basics: Eating Clean, Lean, and Green. It's going to include tips, benefits, resources, and a list of foods to eat and to avoid. It should be up by Wednesday.

Before I say goodnight, I wanted to share a recovery update with those of you actually reading this. These may not seem like huge accomplishments to most people, but for me, it is like climbing a mountain and finally reaching the halfway point without falling back down to the bottom.

2012 Personal Recovery Update

• I have been focusing on eating regularly for nearly 6 months
• I have not starved myself in 6 months
• I have not used laxatives in 8 months
• I have focused on a fitter and stronger body through resistance training for 7 months
• I have put on 5-6 pounds, but have been focusing on body fat %, which is down to 15%
• I have noticed the change in my metabolism over the last few weeks, I am actually noticeably hungry every few hours, especially when I am working out regularly. (Its a little scary, I haven't actually felt hunger pains on a semi-regular basis in at least 2 years).
• I have discovered that I LOVE working out! 
• I have learned that missing a day or two of working out is not the end of the world and does not automatically cause me to gain 5 pounds (or even 1 pound).
• I no longer have the "self-control" of someone with anorexia, I can't just not eat anymore, I get too sluggish and sleepy and grumpy. (I still have self-control, I don't pig out).